Bad temper - how to control it?

I am usually a really nice person, but my temper, in contrast, is astonishing. I often find myself constantly irritated and frustrated. This is usually around certain people, or due to certain situations. An example would be my mother criticizing how ‘shabby’ I look and me immediately exploding on her – by ranting and throwing a tantrum.


When I look back at my sudden ‘anger sparks’ I am surprised by how rashly and immaturely I behave when I realize I could have handled the situation in a much more civil way. My mom is starting to believe that I’m just an annoying little brat and I often feel bad about hurting her feelings.


I think a couple of factors contribute to my hot-temper: I do have esteem/confidence problems, I usually never feel as if I’m in control (of things like relationships, my future etc.), I never wholly express myself in places other than in confrontations with my mom etc.


How can I prevent “exploding” whenever things go wrong? How do I teach myself to control?Bad temper - how to control it?
check with your local community health centre for any anger management classes, also, if availiable, DBT (Dialectical Behavioural Therapy) can be very effective in helping you dealing with your anger and other strong emotions.Bad temper - how to control it?
Well, isn't that a little harsh for your mom to say you look shabby?


You could have a hot head, but it might be the way your friends/family are treating you. Obviously, if people are being ***** your going to be mad at them. help me since i have a temper too.

Report Abuse

http://www.apa.org/topics/controlanger.h…
The worst thing that anybody can do is too try to teach this flesh to live morally; that is what you called self- righteousness. We all have trouble with the flesh, but as a christian I'm not suppose to live by the flesh but by the Spirit of God. But until a person get the Spirit of God inside them they can't really deal with this matter.
try getting a punching bag...I actually used to get soo mad at school the vice principal would call the school atletic trainer into the weight room and he would have to supervise me hitting the punching bag...before that i was getting in fights almost everyday...they would let me go for like 10 minutes then send me back to class....so i would suggest to get a punching bag!
There are a couple of 'books' that might help you. They won't help as far as anger goes. They won't help you in your feelings about yourself. They will help you understand you and how you feel about you, why, and what it is that pushes you 'beyond'.





Pride and Shame by Nathanson is a good book. It's about affects. Affects are stimuli that cause a physiological response. I say BOO! You get scared. Your blood pressure goes up, your heart races, hair goes up on the back of your neck, pupils dilate. Fight or Flight thing.





Disgust is an affect that's fairly strong. Distaste would be a milder form. If one of your friends does something that is really disgusting to you, they disgust you....that's IT. It's not a reversable feeling. You won't recover. They now disgust you, and always will. Won't heal.





Distaste is a milder form, not so much as it gets down all the way to your stomach and makes you vomit, but it's unpleasant.





There are 9 affects. You'll enjoy the book.





Two affects, Pride and Shame are along the same axis. Sort of like a see-saw at the park. One person sits on one end, someone on the other, and up and down. When they go up, you go down.





If you are really PROUD, not much will affect you.





You go with your friend to a coffee place. You are sitting there talking. Another friend who is angry with you comes in and says F%%26amp;K YOU!


you react by yelling back, screaming throwing your coffee, or books or ???





Same scenario. Sitting there with your friend. Other guy comes in and says the same F%%26amp;K YOU!





but you just found out that you won the lottery, or got into the university you applied to just for the heck of it knowing you'd never get in because you don't have the grades or not enough social stuff..whatever. Then when that person says that, you say back


';f%26amp;%^k you too, come on, sit down have a milkshake. Sorry about that comment I made, didn't mean to...';


YOu are NOT upset at all. You are so HIGH on the PRIDE level, or low on the Shame level, that no matter what is said, not going to bother you.





So how you feel about YOU, is important. And when you go home, and MOM says this or that, as she ';knows'; you, you feel her opinion counts, because you can't 'hide' from her...she knows you. The guys at school don't, not really. So when she says stuff, it sort of hurts more. And it drops you down into enough shame, that you just react. When I was young we were not allowed to say anything to our parents in a loud voice. Whatever we'd done took second place from the wrath we got from being disrespectful to either parent. So we NEVER raised a voice at a parent. Just not worth dying for.





How many people do you know on this earth? ok, not fair. How many in your state? still not fair. How many in your city/town?





How many do you KNOW? 10? 20? There's a lot of people you DON'T know.





Why are they important to you? Family? that's one group. Friends? how many 'good' friends? just not that many.





We spend the first 10 or so years learning right from wrong. Then the next 10 years, avoiding that stuff to have 'fun', knowing all along what to do, or not do, but we do anyway.





So who are you to you? Who do you want to be? Do you want to be kind? Gentle? Understanding? Warm? in CONTROL? Rich? happy? right?





As at these ages in the teens or so, we don't have enough experience to know what we want, we're expected to 'act' all grown up and responsible without having any information. So maybe going to school and doing the best you can for YOU, will give you time to learn what it is you want for you. Then by the time you decide....you've spent YOUR time learning about the world, math, history, how to say it ';english';, a foreign language...they think differently too...how things work, what bugs do or plants, or weather, or electricity...you get to know stuff. Helps you like you. Just knowing you tried will give you your own self respect. And then no one can say stuff that gets you all hot-tempered in frustration. We see all these kids being cool. Yet we can't get most to pass a simple high school test. Can't read at the level of a 5th grader.





The best you can do is be YOU. you are the only one there's ever been, or ever will be. You don't have to have the EGO thing and squash everyone else, just be you. If you have to push someone else down to feel good about yourself, you'll end up sad, and alone. To have pride by causing someone shame, is a false pride.


Loving yourself...a good start.
You have a very good question. You are a nice person or else you would not ask some thing like this. You can read some books about Yoga and practice when you have time. You do not need to join any class; nowadays, most yoga class pays too much attention on the body form and misses the more important issues. Now, thinking about this: in God’s time, human life is shorter than a brink of eyes, and human are like microbes compare with the size of universe; why put anything no good in our head? You can build an invisible protection shield, when you hear or see something you do not like, it is just like wind blow through your ear or your eyes; you hear nothing and you see nothing. Take a deep breath and walk away.
get a punching bag. helps gain strength and calms you down
Antidepressants will mellow you out.
See anger management, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on page 4.